tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86359040299939700702024-03-13T04:13:19.524-07:00A Day in the Life of a HypochondriacJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.comBlogger195125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-79563129438892203422017-06-14T14:07:00.002-07:002017-06-14T14:07:37.160-07:00Human<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey. You. Yes you. I see you. You aren't as clever and unique as you think. Unlike most stories, you aren't in the corner are you? You are in the center, you are in the center of it all. I know you. I know your kind. May I just take a moment to ask you when you stopped being human?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You see, I've noticed you on the streets. I see you as you walk fast, with a definite mission. Nobody can stop you. If you get something in your head, you will accomplish it. If you were a T-shirt you would say, "Accomplisher of goals". If you were a song, it would lead with, "This is the story of facts". Not a single person doubts your abilities. but you do, don't you? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You see, unlike everyone else, I know that in the deepest darkest depths of your thoughts, you wonder why if you can accomplish so many things, than why (please answer me this) WHY can you not accomplish your MIND? Why does your clever, your witty stop and end there?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Put aside the accomplishments, and your brain is an empty wall. This isn't pity on your part. In your mind this is deserving. What people DON'T see is that in YOUR head it is your civic duty to be perfect. You are not allowed to collapse. You have to fix everything and everyone.You have to uphold your arrogance. You are not allowed to be human. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Humans are emotional. You can't be that. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is scary to feel. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is terrible to consider for just a single moment, that maybe MAYBE you might be human enough to accept your emotions. Crying is wrong. Feeling is your fault. You may only be happy EVER. You may only smile. You may only ever be smart, witty, strong. You can't let others see you are indeed human. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If they see...they might hurt you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What people don't see, is that next to your clever, your strong, is an overflowing bucket of YEARS worth of hidden emotions. It is full, and for the last few years, you my dear have been careless. I have watched you, thinking nobody saw. I watched your bucket seep out. When it seeps out you are lost. You are no longer strong and witty. This causes you to panic. Suddenly strong is gone, and you are a baby mouse trying to stay above the water. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Stop filling that bucket. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Poke a hole in the bottom and let it splash on the ground. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Better yet RIP IT APART LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD and throw the emotions everywhere. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SCREAM OUT LOUD.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Experience,Every.Single.One</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-1429555680905740222016-11-01T13:50:00.001-07:002016-11-01T13:50:17.659-07:00Humble Pie <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ka0wS6HVbF0/WBj_4wDdmbI/AAAAAAAAAxY/celKGSRtrPojYurmh9jtYmAepq7zkaNQACLcB/s1600/HumblePie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ka0wS6HVbF0/WBj_4wDdmbI/AAAAAAAAAxY/celKGSRtrPojYurmh9jtYmAepq7zkaNQACLcB/s320/HumblePie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel like, being a stay at home parent has made me more humble. When you stay at home, people like to pretend they don't judge you, but they do. You are usually judged in one of two ways. First, you are either judged by those who assume you want to fill your womanly duties, or second you are judged by those who assume there is nothing better for you than to stay home and raise a bunch of children. Have you ever asked yourself, why you feel that way about those who choose to stay home? Was it your personal upbringing? Is it because you yourself, don't actually have any clue what goes into the work of being the stay at home parent? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First of all, my husband and I had many discussions on who would stay home. It always boiled down to it that I knew he was extremely extroverted and being home would be hard on him mentally. I am an introvert, and slightly obsessed with hoarding myself into my own sanctuary, so have no problems being shut off from the outside world. You know that's what we sign up to do right? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When choosing to be the stay at home parent, we sign our rights away from having a normal amount of adult communication. At first it is fun, not getting dressed, watching T.V. during the day, getting those things you have had on your list waiting for you finally be accomplished! Than the kids get older and you have to take them everywhere for things that only they will truly enjoy, while you get to wait and watch. You devote your life to feeding schedules, pooping schedules, sleeping schedules, extracurricular schedules, listening to them fight with their siblings schedules, and you soon find you have to get dressed and when you get 3 minutes to breathe, you spend that very valuable time...sleeping. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's not even bad! If you truly enjoy being a stay at home parent, you will find through the struggle of accepting your position as a glorified nanny, you really love raising and watching your children grow up. What is bad, is when the adults around you take you for granted and assume your self-worth is less than. When did wanting to watch our children grow up become looked down upon?Can you ask yourself that? I have had MANY a times in a room full of adults, where I know they wont ask me how my day is, or what work is like, or what I am up to, because they assume I am nothing other than a mom. When you go to work, do you come home and assume you are still the position you have at your job? Are you a lawyer at home? Are you a doctor at home? No? I didn't think so. So start understanding, that though we will always be parents, we are also people. Humans. Individuals that enjoy life just like the rest of us. If you are in the room with a bunch of adults, ask the stay at home parent what they have been up to lately. They may scoff and say, "Haha you know just watching kids", but still try to engage with them. Chances are, they are just so used to people ignoring them, that they genuinely don't know what to say. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook and other social media platforms, we have the wonderful opportunity to spread our opinions. We choose sides based on fictitious memes and assume rights based on likes. What happened to genuine conversation, and caring for those around us? Being humble, and wanting those we love to succeed instead of fall? Put your ego aside, and tell someone who may not know it that you love them. and goddammit put your phone down! </div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-74328395750220605802016-10-11T10:55:00.001-07:002016-10-11T10:55:30.411-07:00Why it is never ok to settle for your health<div style="text-align: center;">
A lot of times, I ask myself, "Why am I becoming a nutritionist"? Aside from the obvious fact that I really dig the holistic side of life, it comes down to so much more. In fact, being in school has rather been difficult for me, more than rewarding because it has forced me to take a hard look at reality in the form of my health.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Something people are not aware of, is that a lot of those delicious foods that taste wonderful, but have absolutely no form of health for us whatsoever, have purposefully added chemicals to addict us to them. You may chuckle, but sugar (and I'm talking high fructose corn syrup) is a chemical not derived all from natural resources, but rather made in lab...to make you crave it. There are legit assholes out there doing that. True story</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So you find yourself, constantly wondering, WHY can't I stop eating this stuff? What is wrong with me? It really is not you, but rather a chemical you have been ingesting that has given you an addiction. This stuff is in everything. Even things we wouldn't consider sweet. We find ourselves often day dreaming about it, and yet we can't understand the correlation between not being able to let it go. We blame our health (mental and physical) on everything else in the world, but we don't dare sit down and accept that it could be our lovely sweet and caring food. What do you do when you are sad? You eat. What do you do when you are happy? You eat. We have trained our brains and body that food is our comfort mechanism, and therefore without this we could not possibly be happy? Wrong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Growing up in a loving and health conscious family, I can say I was lucky enough to be aware of a lot of this as a child. Though, when I got out on my own I still became attracted to bad foods. Just to clarify, I am STILL struggling, so please don't assume this comes from a place of perfectionism. Around 20 I started to notice a dramatic decline in my health. First it was constant anemia. Than it was raging periods with headaches and cramps to where I couldn't leave my house on the first day. Than it was weight gain, followed by not being able to crap for a week at a time, to going ALLL the time. To blood tests saying my thyroid was prepping to fail, and that what I was feeling all these years was finally showing up as proof on my blood tests. I thought I wanted this proof, like maybe it could be used as an excuse, so I could hide behind the truth I already knew. Of course I have low energy, Im an anemic! Of course I gain weight... I have Hashimoto's disease! Of course I have crappy periods, I have had 3 kids and my hormones are messed up. Yet, when it came down to it, I had to take a GOOD hard look around and see that the only disease here was myself. Me. I have done this to myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When you have a doctor look you in the face and say, "yes someday we will likely have to take your thyroid out or put you on permanent medication", you start to see the truth more clearly. Yet, how sad is it that we can't stop and see what we are doing to ourselves until we are SO far gone? Yet, you know what? It is NEVER too late. I just wont take no as answer when it comes to my health. I won't continue to ruin my body, and use my diagnosis as an excuse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So back to my point, it is just never okay to ruin your body, and than when you finally get that proof that you don't feel good...give up. You keep trying. Every damn day if you have to! Somedays, you will MOST definitely fuck up. You will eat that cheeseburger, and you will choose to have that popcorn at the movies with your family. It is ok. We are not meant to be all or nothing people. If we do that, we have a very high chance that we will fail, and the guilt will push us back into that mode of giving up and having bad days every day. In fact when you start, you may only have 3 good days, but you know what? That is 3 days you didn't have bad days. That is 3 days, that you cared about your health.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So why do I want to be a nutritionist? Is it to tell you that for the rest of your life, you can only eat cabbage leaves and drink bone broth? Or that if you sniff a cookie you will get diabetes? Nope. Not even close. What I would love, is to be able to show people that it is really ok to start at whatever age, progression of disease, etc. We are not forever doomed. We DO have another option instead of voluntarily taking our thyroid out. We can start by acknowledging our part in our body's history. We can start by loving ourselves so much, that we want to not feel like crap anymore.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is not where I end by saying, "Trust me it is SO easy". It is not easy. It is fucking hard. Even still, with all of my knowledge of health, I will occasionally and guilt free have something that I shouldn't eat. I will choose that cookie over the salad sometimes. I like to do the 80/20 method each week. 80% of the time I aim for healthy, and 20% of the time I give myself some lenience. Again, if you expect to come out of the gate swinging perfectionism after a lifetime of eating crappy foods, you will fail. Small steps. Cut out soda first? Than work on upping your water intake. Slow small steps to see the change in how you feel. Slow small steps towards not feeling like a shell of who you could be.</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-34655073511101428062016-08-22T16:32:00.001-07:002016-08-22T16:32:59.575-07:00I will never be...<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never be the mom who creates Pinterest fun, and will most likely always buy playdough from the store</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never be the mom who bounces back into her pre baby body even 12 years postpartum</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never be the most put together woman when running errands and will likely have just discovered an outfit 5 seconds before leaving</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never be the best at discussing politics, and may at times even need you to refresh my memory on what exactly shit is </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never be the best in my field even though I try</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never have the most well-thought out responses to my kids behaviors, and will probably say the wrong thing sometimes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What I will be is...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always be the mother that loves you the most, the person who you can count on when you need a bandaid or to kiss your boo-boos</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always be the mother with a soft tummy you can melt into when you hug me</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always leave at the drop of a pin to help you, even if that means todays outfit is from the dirty clothes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always make you laugh </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always try my hardest even if I fail</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always own my faults and be there to apologize and put my ego aside</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-9519439851949386532016-08-01T15:28:00.000-07:002016-08-01T15:28:26.172-07:00An ode to babyhood<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I often come back to this blog and contemplate "what" exactly to write about? I read back on my previous posts and laugh, smile, sometimes cry. I have spent all of my 20's being a mother. I will never regret that, but I am in a weird spot where for the first half I willingly gave up being young and learning about myself. Which instead was dedicated to late night feedings and talks about baby poop. Everyone else I knew was busy being young, youthful, and carefree. I do not even in the slightest regret my decision to have a family young. Just like on every side, there are benefits and there are parts that sometimes suck. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now I am approaching the end of my 20's, and most of those same people I envied during my late night walks around the house carrying a crying infant..are having babies of their own. Funny enough, I am finding myself slightly jealous of them again. All I have known is being a busy mother to babies/toddler, and now I finally have that (semi) free time and it is scary! Most of us do this, regardless of our age. We throw ourselves into our children, strive to be that perfect Pinterest parent, convince ourselves that watching Frozen for the 3rd time really is what we want to be doing on a Friday night. and sometimes it is! and than..they start to get a little older. You realize...it is OK to take that baby gate off of the stairs. You realize it is OK to let them sleep in a big girl bed, and yes you can play in the backyard by yourself for a little bit. All of the time and energy you spilled into being there for them 24/7, slaps you in the face when you realize they don't need you as much and you don't know what to do with your time anymore. Sure, they definitely still need you, but in a new way; a foreign way you are not used to. A way that doesn't require you to stay up till 2 am dance walking around the living room while whispering "shhh" into their ears. They don't need you to nurse their boo-boo's away, and they don't need you cut up their food into tiny little pieces anymore. They don't want to hold your hand anymore as they walk, and they choose to run instead of crawl. In the same breathe you are excited for their achievements, a little piece of your heart breaks. and when it is your last baby, it is as if someone is fast forwarding all of those same moments from the last and you have to brace yourself to remember it before it is over. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hopefully, you haven't read this far and discovered you now have a fear of having children due to my words. Its equal parts wonderful, as it can be equal parts horrendous. I willingly put my heart and soul into these children, and would do it 20 times over and over again. Yet, even though they are still little kids, their eager need for independence from me, means I also need to learn how to gain my independence as well. This is where the struggle is, since I spent most of my youth singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", instead of finding myself in the big bad world. Just as my kids struggle with finding themselves, I will also be doing the same. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone learns, and grows, and is put on repeat for the rest of their life. There is no part of your life where you can say, "Ok I am done growing now". I am certain I will have this feeling at every transition of my life. When Sophie has her first play date without me there, or when Violet asks to go to the school dance, or when they graduate, etc. For every moment they have in their life and learn to grow..so will I. I will have to find myself to be a better mother. I want to have the ability to tell them someday when/if they are older to say, "It is ok, this is normal and you will get through this". I find a small comfort in that. <3 font="" nbsp=""></3></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rhRuaU2SgEM/V5_Jy4UKDqI/AAAAAAAAAww/n10nKKpVKwUq2NBWBT-hAnrukvnWT2IoQCLcB/s1600/1914887_1222726881981_2097632_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rhRuaU2SgEM/V5_Jy4UKDqI/AAAAAAAAAww/n10nKKpVKwUq2NBWBT-hAnrukvnWT2IoQCLcB/s320/1914887_1222726881981_2097632_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRNkEqD2N1I/V5_KEuM4bQI/AAAAAAAAAw0/i0OLAyrjagcenRYJAWe93h9VIn94CPpNACLcB/s1600/13528913_10208655064867713_65940055344891022_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRNkEqD2N1I/V5_KEuM4bQI/AAAAAAAAAw0/i0OLAyrjagcenRYJAWe93h9VIn94CPpNACLcB/s1600/13528913_10208655064867713_65940055344891022_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-26017698946748752002016-05-18T18:37:00.003-07:002016-05-18T18:37:46.021-07:00So you have an autoimmune disease?Most if not just about all of my life, I have been very healthy. Raised by the most incredibly healthy nutritionist of a mother I never had to struggle with health. Than I had babies. You know how everyone says, "When you are pregnant you can eat whatever you want"? I took it too literally. I didn't wok out and I adored new foods like hot dogs and pizza. OMG pizza...so much pizza.<br />
Fast forward to baby number 3. I always lost my baby weight for the most part so really thought I had some secret upper hand in that department.<br />
<br />
So I had baby number 3, breastfeed for 18 months and DID lose all that glorious baby/pizza weight. Than I gained it back. In 3 months. Suddenly, I had a new found love of nutrition (funny how that works). I decided this was my fault and I was the only one who could fix it. I worked out every day, I ate beautifully, I stayed the same weight. Not only did I gain weight, I became depressed, I lost my energy, and I felt lost. I would go to professionals who suggested I go on anti-depressants and that I was just adapting to motherhood with 3. People would say, "Everyone has a shitty metabolism and gains weight after 3 kids". I did not feel like my voice was heard. I gave in. I spent a year eating great and working out, and still feeling like death.<br />
<br />
Finally, I decided my love for the holistic lifestyle would push me into seeing a Naturopath. She was wonderful and caring and most importantly said, "Hey this isn't normal"! Did some blood tests and a few months later I discovered I have an autoimmune disease called, "Hashimoto's". It is basically a condition that attacks your thyroid, pushing you into extreme levels of hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Mine was hypo which explained why everything I had been doing was in vain. It also explained why I was severely anemic.<br />
<br />
So its been 3 weeks into my new supplement/thyroid medication regimen and I feel completely different. I have energy, I can play with my kids, I can think! I am so grateful I found someone willing to dig a little deeper. This journey has pushed me into finishing my degree for nutrition. We have a growing epidemic of autoimmune disorders. IT is scary how common it is to have one. Some say it is a genetic predisposition mixed with environmental factors. None of this surprises me since we live in the most unhealthy country.<br />
<br />
To sum this up, my point is to fight for yourself. Many people will have advice about your body, but only you know what is normal and what feels right. Autoimmune diseases suck ass. They can leave you feeling like a shell of yourself. Fixing the root cause and accepting that you are where you are is the first part. I can't wait to see how I feel by the end of the year.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-14035807063121627452016-03-21T12:45:00.000-07:002016-03-21T12:45:13.413-07:00A day in the life of...a parent of three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tofn1ui1L1g/VvBDZKNO29I/AAAAAAAAAuU/vEGLcsnp5pAFQzBKZlm90_6NGtOdt_2HA/s1600/IMG_7641.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tofn1ui1L1g/VvBDZKNO29I/AAAAAAAAAuU/vEGLcsnp5pAFQzBKZlm90_6NGtOdt_2HA/s320/IMG_7641.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
See that face? Yeah that's the luck of disgust over the fact that I dared to give her an egg salad sandwich. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Yesterday, I whined to my husband about my life and why I am where I am. After spending the entire Sunday attempting to watch one (yes ONE) movie, I asked myself WHY..why even attempt this movie? Than with a forceful "challenge accepted" I spent 20 minutes watching it..and 2 hours in between each 20 minute spurt being a parent. Right as I would sit down to re-play it, I would be met with things like, "Don't worry mom I've picked out a great outfit for Freya to wear tomorrow" from Violet...at like 10 pm at night. I'm not worried kid! I could care less if she wore the pajamas she is currently sleeping in if you JUST let me finish this movie! Why! Why is it so hard when we become parents to watch things on the T.V? Is there a secret club our children go to, to discuss ways to make us pull our hair out? This is how a following day, the previous week had gone. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I wake up. Instead of being greeted by the sounds of cheerful birds, I am greeted by the screaming of 3 tiny terrors down below. "Violeeetttt I said I was going to sit there later"!!! While the two older fight, I hear the baby screaming at Daddy because he is trying to get ready for work. That's my cue. I know he is probably down there feeling how I do about 6 hours into the day. I rush downstairs and am seriously half awake. I have never been a morning person and never will. People tell me time after time, you have kids you get used to waking early. I just don't. I try to scramble my body to the kitchen to throw something, anything down my throat, so that I can boost my blood sugar and maybe become a cognitive member of society. I make it maybe 5 steps and I am approached by Sophie violently crying, "Mom Violet totally knew I was going to sit there". I look over at Violet who is beaming wildly while sitting in a spot on our massive couch. Happy she got her sisters goat. This is probably where I should interject and be a parent, but I keep walking to the kitchen. I feel like a warrior muffling out the sounds of gunshots, while I try to grab a cracker..something. Jared is in the bathroom frantically trying to get ready while the toddler scratches at his legs. I pull her off of him and throw her in the highchair with some sort of food to gain 5 minutes of freedom. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Maybe 15 minutes later, Jared has left and dropped Sophie off at school. I have attempted to find some maybe clean clothes, and pair it with a fancy coat to pretend I have my shit together. It's pissing rain outside, so I put on the girls rain boots and raincoats. Oh did you think it was that easy? First, Violet purposefully puts them on the wrong feet, while Freya takes her off 6 times after I put them on. I contemplate sending Violet to school with no shoes and letting them walk barefoot in the rain, but get some sanity together and walk outside to the car. This is the part where the toddler goes apeshit. As we walk to the car in the pissing rain, she decides...maybe I want to sit in a puddle? I quickly grab her and continue walking while she is flailing in my arms and pulling my hair. "Puddllleeeeeee" she screams as I buckle her in. I look down and realize I am 5 minutes late. I give myself a high five because that's pretty damn awesome only being 5 minutes late! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We drop sister off at preschool and barely make back into the door, when toddler screams, "DanieLLL". I have no issue giving in and plop Daniel Tiger onto the T.V. I sit. I enjoy sitting. Toddler does too. Right on my face. I move her over to sit on my lap and am met with an elbow jab in the eye. I being to feel like we are in a wrestling tournament and I am losing. She can't just watch Daniel Tiger quietly, she needs to practice her acrobatics for the upcoming Olympics. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Blee Bloop 2ish so hours later, we pick Violet back up from preschool, and when I walk in the door I am met with demands of what they all would like for lunch. I feel like I am suddenly a 4 star chef and everyone expects that I cook the best of the best. I whip up some homemade egg salad sandwiches with fresh blueberries and carrot sticks. Violet loves it! Score! Toddler looks at me and dumps her entire plate on the floor, "No". I am pretty sure a piece of me dies in that moment. It's a battle of whits and I am always losing. I go back and make a quick almond butter sandwich and as I hand it to her she exclaims, "thank you mommy". I feel weird accepting that.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Aww nap time. The time parents sleep. Or read. Or Facebook. We never really clean. Why would you do that? Yet no, instead I have homework because stupidly I thought I could finish my degree with 3 children! I begin to sit down reading about amino acids, when I hear loudly from Violet's room, "Let it GOOOO". I try to let it go. I tell myself I am better than this. "Daddy finger, Daddy finger, where are youooooo". Eventually she will fall asleep I tell myself. "Sugar, YES PLEASE". I know we shouldn't stifle their imagination but damnit I did and told her it was nap time and to quiet down. Maybe I said that for my own benefit? It didn't help. Instead she decided to loudly play at her Elsa ice castle. Eventually she fell asleep with her crown on under the bed, but whatever. By the time SHE had fallen asleep tiny terror toddler wakes up. I here her in there sweetly singing, and for a minute I am reminded why I love my children. I go gather her a snack and creep upstairs to meet those sweet toddler smiles. As I approach mid stairs I smell something god awful. It's obviously not egg salad since she loudly declared that was a no. I creep to the door and hear, "Oh no". As I open the door I see she has ripped her diaper off because it was too gross after pooping in it, and proceeded to use her entire bed sheet as toilet paper. and the walls. Now this is not something I am proud of, but I cried. I had ALMOST finished my paper on amino acids and I knew it would need to wait. As I pick her up under the armpits to hose her down in the tub, I see Violet wide awake 15 minutes later. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
While hosing off shitty toddler I begin to laugh and Im unsure if its because I've calmed down or if I really truly have lost my mind. I declare both. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Kids begin playing together for a little bit while every so often one cries or declares the other is toy thief. I half heartedly interject while realizing I am starving. Now, every parent knows you don't eat in front of your kids, if they aren't eating. It is like a cardinal rule. Unless it's salad. Than you are good. I go hide in bathroom and eat a quick egg salad sandwich. Violet stands outside the bathroom yelling, "MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING". This is my lunch break. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Older sister comes homes, and I throw older sister and Violet in the backyard. "There go be kids"! I declare. I sit on the couch and I'm not even half kidding, Violet comes inside "I'm done outside". I exclaim they should try to play for a little bit more. Suddenly I hear screams from outside and I race out there to see them huddling together dramatically. I ask what is wrong and Sophie gets out, "We wanna come inside we saw a bug". In this moment I ask myself why I can't have kids that like and need to be dirty. Don't all kids love dirt? Isn't this one of THEIR cardinal rules? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
At this point I am checking the minutes for Jared to walk into that door so I can go..somewhere quiet! My day gets progressively better when daddy is home and eventually we lay the little heathens down and collapse on the couch. This isn't even one of the worst days. We look at each other with those eyes that say, "I'm so tired I cant even physically say the words". We slowly push each other upstairs to lay down and go to bed. This is the part where I say something corny about how we tucked the kids in and thought how worth it it all was. There really is something about sleeping kids that makes you forget for 5 minutes how terrible they really can be when they are awake haha</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-24645095448773585572014-11-01T21:12:00.001-07:002014-11-01T21:12:23.617-07:00Wow it has been AWHILE!I have not been on here in so long, that I actually forgot my password! So much has been going on in our lives and in a good way. We feel that now we have finally passed the "having babies" stage of our life and are now moving on to watching them grow up. Its been wonderful. Freya is 10 months and will soon be 1 and it has hit me that very soon I am done having a baby in the house. It has been difficult seeing the mountains of baby stuff in the girls closet and trying to decide when I will deal with it. For now..I wont haha.<br />
<br />
I recently graduated and finished my Associates degree in Health care Administration. As much as I am proud of myself and will NEVER forget about it, I can't help but giggle because I know I will never use it. Jared and I have talked for awhile now and I'm pretty certain my dream is to have a huge farm. We have a lot of financial stuff we have to work on before we can even think about moving, but this is my goal. I love animals and I love feeling self sufficient. We currently have a small mini farm in our backyard with our chickens and it has been exciting and has filled a void for me. I am a country girl and its been difficult living in the city all of these years. Realizing I have to live here a little bit longer is tough but I know doing this the right way will make it all worth it in the end. Right now I am enjoying annoying Jared and talking about all of the goats, sheeps, pigs, and 1 cow I want. My dreams of a creamery and selling eggs. He is not on board with pigs haha.<br />
<br />
The girls are doing spectacular. Sophie is 5 and it is so odd for me but SO exciting at the same time. With her being in kindergarten, Jared and I get to experience new things. Ill never forget how exciting it was to do a fundraiser with her. Violet is almost 3 and in full force naughty 2 year old mode. We are prepared this time around but man 2-3 is STILL hard. Freya is almost 1 and crawling and trying to stand on everything. We just finally moved her out of our room and into her own. Its gone smoothly...for her..because she still wants to wake all night to nurse. Im working on night weaning so we will see if it sticks.<br />
<br />
So anyways....thats it! Ill try and update more.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aqcvUvqp2TE/VFWu0okYlQI/AAAAAAAAAhM/6vFe44ZhoZo/s1600/Swehosky_family_10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aqcvUvqp2TE/VFWu0okYlQI/AAAAAAAAAhM/6vFe44ZhoZo/s1600/Swehosky_family_10.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6UJwSzMmMWM/VFWu9eTK2_I/AAAAAAAAAhU/1Lhio3HGiwk/s1600/Swehosky_family_41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6UJwSzMmMWM/VFWu9eTK2_I/AAAAAAAAAhU/1Lhio3HGiwk/s1600/Swehosky_family_41.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rta9q4Z1634/VFWvFf6e2wI/AAAAAAAAAhc/knMOARDJZN0/s1600/Swehosky_family_61.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rta9q4Z1634/VFWvFf6e2wI/AAAAAAAAAhc/knMOARDJZN0/s1600/Swehosky_family_61.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-16440667424845994392014-01-02T18:35:00.001-08:002014-01-02T18:35:16.892-08:00Freya Holiday Slideshow<a href="http://animoto.com/play/LFkFpvd08nvUEP2JMQIAbA">Slideshow of Freya's birth</a>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-48558904624734816442014-01-01T13:51:00.000-08:002014-01-01T14:50:10.937-08:00The birth of Freya HolidayWhen my due date had passed I started getting incredibly antsy to have this baby. I had never made it to my due date with any of the other girls, so it took a lot of patience. December 30th rolled around and I had decided this baby did not want to be apart of 2013. We had a midwife appt. that evening to check my progress, and I had progressed in dilation and effacement. Everything was ready, it was just a matter of time. My midwife told me she expected me to go into labor with 24 hours....little did she know.<br />
<br />
We left the midwife's at 5:30 pm and went to my parents house to pick up the girls. We hung out with my parents and my aunt who was visiting and then decided to go home and get some rest. Once the girls had layed down I had Jared run and get me something to eat. He left around 10pm and I started seeing my stomach do this odd tightening thing. I decided to time them and they were timeable but did not hurt one bit...just sort of felt like I was being squeezed. I called my mom and after talking decided to lay down for a couple minutes and see if they go away before I call my midwife. At 10:45 pm they were still coming every 2-3 minutes but with no pain. I called the midwife and we both agreed to try and sleep. I went to sleep immediately and at 11pm I felt a snap inside. Even though no water gushed out I knew what that meant. I had it happen before with my oldest. I went to the toilet and of course...my water broke.<br />
<br />
I had a slight freak out, but thought I had plenty of time to worry about. I started calling everyone and told my midwife Id let her know when the contractions got bad enough I needed her. Jared and I went downstairs, and my aunt and mother were the first to arrive. My aunt decided to time my contractions (it was now 11:45) and they were coming every 2 minutes lasting almost a minute and starting to hurt. I started getting angry thinking it wasn't right...they shouldn't be this close together. Jared started scrambling to get the birth tub filled and at midnightish we decided to ask the midwives to come. At this point I was having to lean on Jared for support during each contraction. I was getting really upset that they hurt THIS bad already and I was not getting one break. I started to wonder if I was wimp because I knew I had at least 5 more hours to go.<br />
<br />
A little after 1am on New Years Eve everyone had arrived and my midwife suggest I get into the pool. At this point the contractions really, really hurt. I jumped into the pool and felt the need to hold myself up on all fours. It was the only way I could cope. I had also started feeling like the world was coming to and end they were THAT bad. My midwife asked to check me and I was at an 8cm dilated. It had been suggested to get out of the pool and try relaxing laying down. I regretted it because the moment I got out of the pool it only got worse which I did not think was possible. I layed on the ground with a fan in my face just wishing it would be over. It felt like an eternity but looking back it was actually quite fast. I started feeling pushy and asked people to help me get into the pool.<br />
<br />
At this point I decided to surrender to the pain. My lovely doula had some soft music playing in the background and just kept telling me I was doing a great job...it was all I needed. Jared got back in the tub with me and I rested up against his body and knew that any minute I would be pushing. I was so scared of pushing for some reason but at this point I knew if I didnt push I would be stuck dealing with the horrible contractions. Suddenly, I didnt have a choice because I felt her body (super weird feeling) drop down and the head was fighting to come out. I dont know what other nice way to put this but honestly pushing felt like my asshole was going to explode...no joke. It was SUCH a high amount of pain that I couldnt even scream. I remember my midwife's assistant told me that I almost got her out with the first push and I knew I could not relive that pain. So with the second push I pushed her all the way out.<br />
<br />
As horrible as it was, it was beautiful at the same time. My contractions were gone and the pain was over...now my baby was here. She was placed on my chest and made the sweetest sounds. Born at 2:23am on New Years Eve. I didn't know it at the time but I truly believed I had been in labor for 5-6 hours and could not believe it had only been 3 hours since my water broke. I birthed the placenta with the help of my midwife because I was so exhausted and then had help to move to the couch to be checked out. I couldnt believe I was walking and not only that I did not tear at all with my biggest baby! With my other girls walking was something I couldn't accomplish for a couple days, especially Violet. I wont lie, my anxiety was through the roof. The biggest worry I had with home birthing was something happening afterwards. I kind of laid on the couch in shock for about 30 minutes because I couldn't believe I just birthed my baby in the dining room. It is hard to accept after two very medical births (last being a cesarean) that you can BE okay birthing at home...but after waiting 30 minutes I realized nothing horrible was going to happen and felt at peace. With my anxiety I knew I would feel this way but accepted it and moved on.<br />
<br />
My midwife's assistant helped me get upstairs to rest and recover and slowly people started to leave. I felt so amazing and wonderful. I got the birth I wanted..my final birth was EXACTLY as I wanted. It was never about wanting to birth at home because I felt it was right...it was that with my other girls I always felt I was missing an experience that I could not have anywhere BUT my home. My husband was so amazing and supportive throughout the whole process, and all night I kept looking over at him and baby SO in love. Our older girls stayed at nana & papa's house and we got some sleep with our new little Holiday baby.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xXAlV0YoytM/UsSUQ-0eoDI/AAAAAAAAAgU/OyrB9UKYAHU/s1600/1546043_10152115834738812_1427299203_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xXAlV0YoytM/UsSUQ-0eoDI/AAAAAAAAAgU/OyrB9UKYAHU/s320/1546043_10152115834738812_1427299203_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OgL4XUHe7sQ/UsSUWNc1l4I/AAAAAAAAAgc/Z-D18JA4Z48/s1600/1496677_10152115738013812_910325736_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OgL4XUHe7sQ/UsSUWNc1l4I/AAAAAAAAAgc/Z-D18JA4Z48/s320/1496677_10152115738013812_910325736_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XgF_wH7hKyg/UsSUcM_ticI/AAAAAAAAAgk/_MsP7_rxySA/s1600/1538661_10152115848923812_664147514_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XgF_wH7hKyg/UsSUcM_ticI/AAAAAAAAAgk/_MsP7_rxySA/s320/1538661_10152115848923812_664147514_n.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q1EbxYo5oc8/UsSUgzvTnfI/AAAAAAAAAgs/T382_91Caac/s1600/1499589_10152115861038812_1164490546_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q1EbxYo5oc8/UsSUgzvTnfI/AAAAAAAAAgs/T382_91Caac/s320/1499589_10152115861038812_1164490546_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So much thanks to my Midwife Laura Hamilton and her asst. Shannon. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
To my doula Holly Reed from "Belly to Breast"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
To my birth photographer Mandi McDougall Photography</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
To my mother & aunt Jami</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
and last but most important...my husband</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Freya Holiday</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Born New Years Eve at 2:23am</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Weighing 8lbs 7oz and 21 inches long</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-28188459331256488182013-12-04T10:33:00.002-08:002013-12-04T10:33:37.524-08:00Waiting...waiting...waiting....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JwtSUsGkut8/Up90adaE9-I/AAAAAAAAAgE/YYroeJY25gw/s1600/IMG_1169.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JwtSUsGkut8/Up90adaE9-I/AAAAAAAAAgE/YYroeJY25gw/s320/IMG_1169.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I am officially in the waiting zone, but to be honest I am in no hurry. I never realized how having a baby in December can be so stressful. There are SO many holiday plans we have planned, and it leaves me with an anxious feeling wondering if I will make them or not. The other thing is...frankly...I am terrified of having 3 kids. I know, I know....WAY too late but at the same time I am fine cherishing my two girls in the mean time. Things are going to be so different for our family once Freya arrives! Lastly, I am not going to lie, I am slightly nervous about having a home birth but at the same time excited. Basically, I have more emotions than I can handle. It is almost baby time!!!Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-47491012164866958642013-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:002013-11-17T12:37:47.445-08:00Why I choose to homebirth When I was pregnant with Sophie, I was scared of birth. As a control freak, the thought of surrendering my body to something I can't control was out of my element. When the time came and my water broke I could not give into it. So I feared the birth and asked for a lot of drugs/epidural to put me in a state where I would not quite be there. When Sophie was born, I was so exhausted from the drugs I could barely hold her, let alone remember what just happened. Afterwards, I was overjoyed being a new mother and felt no regret for my birthing choices. About a year later we decided to try again for another baby. This time I felt like I was missing something. I decided I wanted to be there physically & mentally for the birth if it was an option. I decided I wanted to do it naturally. I considered going to a midwife but canceled the appointment right before and saw an OB instead. We learned during the middle of the pregnancy that she was another girl...and breech. Breech means the baby is head up, which is not a favorable position for birth. Giving birth to a breech baby puts the babies life at risk as the head can get stuck in the birth canal and cut off oxygen. I wasn't worried because I was having this baby naturally. Sadly, after trying everything that baby would not go head down and we scheduled a cesarean. Having a c-section was an odd experience. This time I was physically and mentally there for my birth but I was terrified. My body was not my own in that moment. I could not move and so all I did was cry and stare at a blue sheet. In that moment, it was that I realized all I took for granted with my first birth.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EgK7lNzhV44/UokoJY2uvtI/AAAAAAAAAfY/b23fOSRe-k4/s1600/28937_1432991258459_2035341_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EgK7lNzhV44/UokoJY2uvtI/AAAAAAAAAfY/b23fOSRe-k4/s320/28937_1432991258459_2035341_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Right after Sophie was born</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-He0JeACTRcw/UokoRbuZ6qI/AAAAAAAAAfg/VQV4zRkq3R0/s1600/403791_2879838228729_41646659_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-He0JeACTRcw/UokoRbuZ6qI/AAAAAAAAAfg/VQV4zRkq3R0/s320/403791_2879838228729_41646659_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
After Violet was born</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
Let me just say, that birth is a choice. Not everyone wants the same things and I would never push my choices on another human being. For my personal self, I was not happy with my births. I didn't feel ashamed...I felt like I was robbed. So with our final child I decided I would do everything in my power to achieve the birth I wanted. The first step was seeing a midwife. I was scared of not having the choice of pain meds at my birth so I told my self I would see a midwife BUT give birth in a hospital. Around July, my sister invited me to see her give birth to her gorgeous daughter. It was the first time I ever witnessed a birth besides my own. The birth was beautiful but it made me realize the small, needed interventions they did at her birth would be detrimental to someone having a VBAC. Let me touch on the VBAC thing.<br />
<br />
Going backwards a little bit, I knew I as going to be what is considered as a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). When you have a VBAC the main thing they worry about is a ruptured uterus from where the incision is. By worry I mean it is a .2% chance of happening. Do you know what the risk of having a repeat cesarean is? Weakened uterine wall, problems with the placenta, injuries to your bladder, heavy bleeding, breathing problems for baby, surgical injury to baby, blood clots, and shockingly...a ruptured uterus. Do you know what doctors will tell you is more safe after you have had a c-section?...another c-section. I do not judge anyone who chooses to have a repeat cesarean. Emotionally I get it. It is very difficult to get past the fear we have. Though for myself it was an easy choice.<br />
<br />
So going back, I decided to research what would happen if I attempted to have a VBAC at the ONE hospital that would allow it. They would want me on pitocin, an epidural, a catheter, and a monitor placed gently (yeah right) inside babies scalp to measure the contractions affect. My natural birth in the eyes of the medical world was stolen. I felt robbed. Due to my baby choosing to be head up instead of head down I was not allowed to do the one thing my body was naturally made to do? First off, pitocin is one of the leading causes of ruptured uterus...an yet Dr.s use it on VBACS knowing this. Pitocin makes a uterus contract faster and puts more stress on the scar which raises the risk of rupture very high. Natural birth, your body knows what you can handle. Secondly, getting an epidural immediately means you have to sit in the bed and not move. This means my body may stall and contract, which you have no idea which way you will go until you get there. Looking this all over an reading the research I realized one thing. VBACS are set up to fail. I got angry for a good couple days. I felt like everything I took for granted as now almost impossible to achieve, due to a surgery. I decided to home birth with my midwife.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5CSi65i0dR8/UokooqdHPdI/AAAAAAAAAfo/9bRwXOLrb9k/s1600/1234865_10201234874607594_524496549_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5CSi65i0dR8/UokooqdHPdI/AAAAAAAAAfo/9bRwXOLrb9k/s320/1234865_10201234874607594_524496549_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
At first I was scared. I told Jared there was a very good chance I would give in at last minute and go to the hospital. He was understanding and repeatedly told me he would do whatever I chose and respect my decision. I spoke with my midwife and she made me feel SO at ease. My ideas of home birth were NOTHING of my reality. She would let me labor on my own and give me the birth I desired.<br />
<br />
So a lot of people, and to be fair this is the unknown so I get it, are a little hesitant when they hear about my choice to home birth. I've gotten the, " Are you not concerned about your babies safety" comment a good deal and instead of arguing I just say yes! I'm very concerned which is why I plan to labor at home and avoid the imminent cesarean waiting for me at the hospital. I want to catch my baby and hold her right afterwards, not unwillingly hand her over for an hour. I want to be the first person to touch her, not a stranger. I want to be able to be cognitive when she arrives and let her know I love her. So many more things, but ultimately YES I AM thinking about my baby and her safety.<br />
<br />
Lastly, my midwife and I just want the best, safest outcome for baby and I. If at some point from now, until labor day it is decided homebirth is no longer an option I would respect it. I would still be happy I tried and then fight like hell at the hospital to have the birth I wanted. I hope in a month from now I can write up a story of a birth that was what I have been dreaming and if not I will move on and accept some things are not meant for people. Either way Ill have a beautiful baby <3 nbsp="" p=""><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9bFg-_Z2PRw/UokpEL_GKCI/AAAAAAAAAfw/iaMLYcriJ3E/s1600/LOGO+(33).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9bFg-_Z2PRw/UokpEL_GKCI/AAAAAAAAAfw/iaMLYcriJ3E/s320/LOGO+(33).jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></3>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-12784405128043761842013-10-06T19:17:00.002-07:002013-10-06T19:17:07.479-07:00Worth the watch.....if you love babies.<br />
If not than I would pass this video haha<br />
<br />
Anyways, I have been watching home birth videos to prepare myself. Some are sort of traumatic and others are beautiful. This one was SO beautiful I cried. I could be SO lucky if my birth went like this...<br />
<br />
<a href="http://community.babycenter.com/post/a44984659/beautiful_birth_video?cpg=1&pd=-1">http://community.babycenter.com/post/a44984659/beautiful_birth_video?cpg=1&pd=-1</a><br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-56123558718278672502013-10-01T18:49:00.001-07:002013-10-01T18:49:23.690-07:00The best midwife Appt.Today was our monthly midwife appt. and I always enjoy going to see Laura but I have been feeling really down the last two months. I have been doing crazy things to get to turn my baby head down that never worked with Violet. Something must have helped because baby Freya is HEAD DOWN!<br />
This is the biggest accomplishment we both have experienced this whole pregnancy. Jared was so shocked that he couldn't believe what he was seeing on the ultrasound! Besides that the midwife checked my blood sugar which was great considering I just ate pizza an hour before o.O and my blood pressure and of course my weight. I have already gained 25lbs which sort of blows but it is normal with me. I tend to gain a crap ton of weight pregnant. Even with this pregnancy I have been working out religiously, eating half decent, but still the weight packs on. but that scale could have read 100 lbs because nothing can make this day bad!<br />
<br />
So now that fetal positioning is behind me I can finally focus on my HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarean). I can finally get excited about it rather than pushing it out of my mind like I have been. Time to get everything in order like my doula, my birth photographer, and planning something incredibly foreign to me!Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-35286243883600806582013-09-09T19:32:00.002-07:002013-09-09T19:32:33.180-07:00Pity PostWell we had our ultrasound today and Freya is perfect in every way and we can not wait to meet her. She hid her face from us until the very end and I think she looks like Violet and everyone else thinks she looks like Sophie. The chiropractor and everything else I have been doing has made room for her and we saw her multiple times move from sideways to breech (head up). When she was breech it was always on the right side like Violet and in fact we (as usual) saw her make no movement in the left side of my uterus. Though the majority of the time she was sideways. If anything, this should make me happy as it means I have a little more of a chance. When we went to our 19 week ultrasound with Violet (I'm 24 1/2 now) she was snugly breech and could not move, so something IS helping. Yet, I can not get this sad feeling away that I have been having. What if after everything I don't get that dream birth I have been wanting after THREE births. I will never NOT be grateful and lucky that I have the blessing of being able to have healthy children and that will never be discounted, but it is so hard to secretly not be upset about not ever getting the birth you dream about. I wake up and immediately start doing exercises from spinningbabies that help with moving baby into position. I faithfully go to the chiropractor. I do prenatal yoga in hopes of keeping everything toned and open for her to move. We go on nightly walks and I rarely sit anywhere comfortable because sitting doesn't help with positioning. At times, during the discomfort, I think about what if all this crazyness was for a waste. I just have to keep hope that maybe there will be a miracle and baby Freya will move head down for me and we can have the magical birth I have always dreamed about. If not, I guess I will back up my little "Born at Home" onesie and someday accept that some things are not meant to be and maybe for me that is one of them.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-89035193346242979072013-09-04T13:01:00.001-07:002013-09-04T13:01:17.684-07:00Midwife Appt.Today's appt. made things all too real for me. Baby is snugly sideways. I know that is better than breech but it is still NOT head down. So we are pushing the chiropractor now and I am starting the same exercises I trie with Violet from <a href="http://www.spinningbabies.com/">www.spinningbabies.com </a><br />
<br />
The reason this is getting all to real for me is that if anything, the last thing I want is a c-section again. It is a hard concept to have a c-section only for fetal positioning. My baby wasn't in distress, she was just head up. It sucked to realize this was simply from a abnormal type of uterus I have...so it is my fault. C-Sections are not fun and the recovery is emotionally and physically draining. So I would like to avoid this AGAIN.<br />
<br />
Aside from that...my weight gain was naughty this month! I need to lay off all the late night bad food snacking ;)<br />
<br />
I am a couple days from viability. This means baby will be viable to live outside the womb if she were to come early. I am not hoping for this at all but it is a comforting milestone to achieve. We have 16 weeks left until out little Xmas present arrives and I am so excited!Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-23797742710143527782013-08-07T15:42:00.001-07:002013-08-07T15:42:31.857-07:00Midwife Appt.I had my midwife appt. yesterday and it went really well. We saw baby Freya and she is at the moment sideways and SOMETIMES head down so I'm keeping my fingers crossed she stays head down. It would truly suck if I had ANOTHER breech baby. My weight gain is surprisingly going well considering with both the other girls I gained WAY to much weight. We discussed emergency procedures for home birthing and it made me feel more at ease with my decision (if everything continues to go well). I had no idea that midwifes actually carry certain drugs/instruments Dr.s do in case of an emergency. My midwife has been delivery babies for 30+ years and she feels very confident everything will go well. The only thing she worries about is if I have the baby before she gets there since I dilated very quickly with Sophie (1-10 in 45 minutes). I labored with Sophie in the hospital after my water broke for 10 hours and couldn't relax because I was having such a horrible time (craptastic hospital) that when I finally go the epidural 10 hours later I went from 1-10 centimeters in 45 minutes because my body was so relaxed finally. so she thinks since I will be home and more comfortable it will go quickly. So anyways...I am HALF WAY done! I don't enjoy pregnancy so I'm looking forward to this journey almost being complete in my life and being able to have my body back!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EcKj4rMPBvI/UgLNTbur8fI/AAAAAAAAAfI/QMi3iA8e_pk/s1600/IMG_5439.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EcKj4rMPBvI/UgLNTbur8fI/AAAAAAAAAfI/QMi3iA8e_pk/s320/IMG_5439.jpg" width="232" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-73029653556701672882013-08-01T20:27:00.001-07:002013-08-01T20:27:11.762-07:00It has been a long time since I have made a blog post......I didn't even realize it!<br />
<br />
Now is a better time I feel to give an update on our little family. As most of you know we have our THIRD girl getting ready to be welcomed into this world around Christmas. We have decided to name her "Freya Holiday". The middle name is special to us not only for the fact that she is being born around the BIGGEST holiday of the year but for other simple reasons <3 a="" and="" attempt="" been="" beginning="" care="" during="" have="" i="" known="" midwife="" my="" p="" prenatal="" seeing="" since="" the="" to="" vbac="" wanted=""><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y27K2iBj5D4/UfslYdSnSoI/AAAAAAAAAe0/HbVbnGUHNEQ/s1600/229823_10151151425703250_1068910008_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y27K2iBj5D4/UfslYdSnSoI/AAAAAAAAAe0/HbVbnGUHNEQ/s1600/229823_10151151425703250_1068910008_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
As most of you know little Violet (18 months now!! ) was born via cesarean due to her breech presentation. Most Dr.s hope that every child there after will be a RCS...which is known as a repeat c-section. They say this because of the .05% chance of your uterus rupturing if you attempt a vaginal birth, but the truth is that the risks for a RCS are MUCH higher than a VBAC. Hope you got all that terminology? ;)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Anyways, I have always wanted to do that but NOW I have decided to go bigger. Ready for some bigger terms? I have decided to attempt a HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarean). I have been looking into it more and more and if my midwife is okay with it, and everything works out I will get to experience my very own homebirth. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I know everyone has different feelings about this but when it comes down to it, these are feelings about my birth. I have to realize that my feelings are most important. I think it would be incredibly beautiful to experience this. Some of the reasons I would prefer to birth at home are:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
1.) The hospital puts my anxiety into overdrive</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
2.) I have a higher chance of having a RCS if I attempt my VBAC at a hospital</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
3.) I like the idea of being comfortable in my own home</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
4.) I want to have a water birth</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Now with that being said, I know ALL to well that birth plans can sometimes not go as you planned. So I plan to just go into this with an open mind!!! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Ill update more as we move along in this process!!</div>
<br /></3>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-51638324185943702402013-02-28T22:20:00.002-08:002013-02-28T22:25:14.688-08:00Terrible 3'sbecause every year is terrible.<br />
<br />
Let me start this by saying I absolutely love my little 3 year old Sophie and wouldnt change her for a second. I just feel like writing down some of the humerous things we parents find annoying helps. So here goes:<br />
<br />
Sophie has become obsessed with bandaids. Its becoming quite expensive to keep up with all of her many battle wounds she just "swears" that she has. The other day she came out of the car and told her daddy her finger hurt and she needed a bandaid. Daddy told her no because her finger was fine but he would kiss it. From 0-60 we heard the following noise/cry/screech "I NNEEEEDDDDDD a bandaid"!! So being the pushover parents we are we gave her a bandaid. The fake cry immediately stopped and she gets an asshole smile on her face (yes I said asshole) and says "All better". Now Im sure your thinking Im being mean and that she is just 3. She is just 3, but like most parents I also think my child is out to get me.<br />
<br />
So our poor little dachshund takes QUITE the beating from Sophie. Hugging to Sophie is basically a death choke from a pro wrestler. Just imaine a 3 year old with the most cracked out look on their face "hugging" a poor puppy. Meanwhile our dog is totally screaming for help o.O So anyways, puppy is sitting on daddys lap and Sophie comes up and shoves the dog off his lap..and hard. She immediately gives her "hug" and we can already see the look on our dogs face and read her mind "why..WHY this family". Have you ever watched Finding Nemo? Do you remember the little girl Darla? Yep....thats Sophie. Jared and I immediately screech "No Sophie be nice to the puppy". 0-60 she screeches/cries/screams.... "I was just LOVING my puppy"!! Yes Sophie....just not to death please.<br />
<br />
Im changing Violets diaper and Sophie asks me if she can do her exercises (aka jump from couch to coffee table) and I (smart mom) shoot down her dreams and say no. Her little dolly stroller is about 2 feet from Violets head and suddenly Sophie ets a smile on her mouth and asks if she can exercise with her stroller. As a parent you MUST give your child the benefit of the doubt sometimes so of course I said yes. Suddenly I hear "WEEEEEEEE" as she pushes the stroller as hard as she can into her sisters head o.O Sophie:1 Violet Head: 0<br />
<br />
Im being lazy and dont want to make dinner again so I take Sophie with me to go get some dinner from Taco Del Mar. We get out of the car and she throws a fit because I didnt put her coat hood on right and I didnt put her bear into her carseat buckled in. While holding her hand and walking into TDM Sophie makes sure to stomp into every puddle she can find. One drop of water gets on her shirt and she asks for a new one. I tell her no and she screams. I tell her if she is good for just FIVE minutes Ill give her a cookie (sue me). We are waiting in line at TDM and I tell Sophie to hold my hand and she doesnt want. Since she is 3 I dont have to worry too much about her wandering off which Is nice. So I let it go. Im trying to pay and the kid is totally running away from me because I told her she cant have chips AND a cookie for dinner. o.O I give her THAT mom look and she comes back...but of course she has to make it known she is upset. She stands next to me and does that thing kids do where they fold their hands into their armpits with a loud "hmpph". Because I was ignoring it that girl did it seven more times with each time getting louder and louder.<br />
<br />
I wonder every day why my hair isnt gray. This girl is giving me a run for my money! At the end of the day I feel so much guilt from all the time-outs and screaming. Yet, something happens. I go up to her room and I see her clutching her blankie from birth and her fingers in her mouth and I realize she wont be a baby for long. Some day I KNOW Ill look back on these days and miss them. So for every "hmpph" and sister beat down Ill remember that inside is a baby girl who will soon blossom and grow into a teenager...and THEN I will commit myself....<br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-7549560228328669542013-01-22T19:30:00.004-08:002013-01-22T19:38:55.224-08:001 Year OldI was going to wait until tomorrow to post this but I couldnt wait because I was so excited. Violet turns 1 tomorrow at 3:40pm. Its so crazy how fast this babies first year went. With the normal day to life of a 4 person family this slipped right up onto us. I thought I would talk about the day she was born!<br />
<br />
The night before the 23rd I coudlnt sleep. Its different when you KNOW your going to have a baby. With Sophie my water broke so I had no idea. I told Jared over and over in tears that I didnt think I could go through with it and that I had planned to go to Mexico and see if they would let me give birth in a hospital with my breech baby. He reminded me that with my special uterus this was best because there ISNT any studies done on delivering a breech baby with bicornuate uterus and it being safe. I just wanted my baby safe and that was all that mattered. That morning my dad was going to help me take my math final so I wouldnt have to do it with a new baby and because he knew it would help take my mind off things. So all morning we took the test which I ended up getting a C- on anyways haha! After the test myself, my mom, and Jared drove up to Olympia to have you. I remember it feeling like I was going to a Dr.s appt...reall odd. They brought me back and set me up for prep. Due to the storm they informed me that my Dr. had forgotten she had me scheduled and the only Dr. I had available was a Dr. I disliked. I was really upset. I remember going into a fog and blocking the world out around me. Jared, myself, and a nurse walked down the hall to the OR room. As we reached the doors I let go of Jareds hand and felt really sad for a second. I expected a really cold room..but it was amazing. The walls were painted PURPLE! It was like they new you were coming and painted them just for you! I was very scared but the Anethesiologist giving me the spinal was like another support partner and he made me feel very safe. Jared came back in and held my hand and we waited for you. 20 minutes later we heard the sweetest tinyest little lamb cry and you were born. 7.8lbs 19 1/2 inches at 3:40pm (1 minute before mama was born)<br />
<br />
VIDEO BELOW!!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK7eJ0tODlw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK7eJ0tODlw</a>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-67677937721150938772013-01-21T12:31:00.000-08:002013-01-21T12:35:20.544-08:00The Mommy Wars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YMMraP29dgA/UP2lEsZCyHI/AAAAAAAAAdA/i0VgMRf8Scc/s1600/iStock_000019106213XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YMMraP29dgA/UP2lEsZCyHI/AAAAAAAAAdA/i0VgMRf8Scc/s320/iStock_000019106213XSmall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Social media has started something horrible that has spun out of control. Unless your a mother or parent you probably would have no idea about this. Facebook started the ability to see into peoples lives and it has only gotten worse because now people WANT to share anything and everything to do with their lives. Now I see the following topics all over the internet and it makes me ill. Here they are and Im sure millions more could be added to the list:<br />
<br />
1.) You should breastfeed / You should not breastfeed<br />
2.) Breastfeeding in public is gross/ Breastfeeding in public is our right<br />
3.) Circumcision is bad / Circumcision is okay<br />
4.) Dont let your baby CIO / Babies can CIO just fine<br />
5.) I proudly spank / Spanking is horrible<br />
6.) I pierce my babies ears because its cute / I dont pierce my babies ears because its horrible<br />
7.) I co sleep / Co sleeping is bad<br />
8.) I baby wear / I don't hold my baby because I don't want to spoil them<br />
9.) I front face in a car seat early / I rear face as long as possible<br />
10.) Dont feed solids to a baby before 6 months / We give solids at 4 months<br />
11.) Medications for children / Holistic approach for children<br />
12.) Vaccinations are bad / Vaccinations are good<br />
13.) Young mothers/ older mothers<br />
14.) C-sections are great / natural birth all the way.<br />
15.) McD's all the way! / no meat/dairy/soy/gluten for MY child<br />
<br />
..the list can go ON!<br />
<br />
I have no desire to share my view on these subjects because I've grown tired of it. I will admit I fell for it and would go around preaching what I thought was right on some of these subjects for awhile. Then I realized the world has gotten this far on differing opinions. I mean.. I'm SURE we can find studies done on things and view them as proof but use that proof for your own child..dont push it onto another mother. Every time I see someone passively aggressively posting something in regards to their opinion as if its better than anyone else I do the whole "point your finger in your mouth as if your gagging" impression. For the longest time I really thought that when someone shared their opinion and another mom disagreed it was because she wasn't comfortable with her own decisions as a parent. I feel as a mother who is incredibly happy with her choices (which are completely half and half on the above topics) I still get bothered by someone posting or downgrading a parents choice. Its okay to be proud of a choice you made but make sure you are doing it without putting down another fellow mama.<br />
<br />
I could go on and on about how much this annoys me BUT Ill just end it with this. Next time you feel the need to judge someone's parental decision remember you have your own child to raise. You can NEVER be a perfect parent as long as you try. As soon as your child becomes a teenager I can almost bet you they will find something to complain about. So why bother? What are you trying to prove? Get off social media sites and just be a mom..or get on social media sites and support other moms to be courageous in their parenting choices no matter what they are.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-75115030756647139322013-01-13T11:09:00.001-08:002013-01-13T11:09:29.654-08:00Way overdue<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZEi00m3iSEw/UPMGLMMGwhI/AAAAAAAAAcc/7Ss3WCYQsNo/s1600/55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZEi00m3iSEw/UPMGLMMGwhI/AAAAAAAAAcc/7Ss3WCYQsNo/s320/55.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wqk8FWeM4L8/UPMGLbljMuI/AAAAAAAAAck/uKK3wt4SPIw/s1600/66.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wqk8FWeM4L8/UPMGLbljMuI/AAAAAAAAAck/uKK3wt4SPIw/s320/66.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
No but really. I am becoming a bit excited about the fact that very soon and possibly on the weekend of my birthday, Jared and I will be having our very own first vacation away from the kids. Im saying...not even since Sophie...have Jared and I ever been away from the kids for an overnight vacation. Ive been obsessing over plans and I laugh at myself because I will always find a hotel and start looking into wether or not they have cribs!? Im so not used to this. I find it pretty sad that in almost 5 years we havent done this. We never even had a honeymoon after our wedding!<br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-42935518627758309762013-01-05T12:56:00.000-08:002013-01-05T12:56:33.596-08:00You just cant be prepared......enough for the start of weaning.<br />
I had visions when I first started breastfeeding Violet. I was going to let her self wean. This meant she could decide when we would be done. I didnt see this happening until at least 18 months was my goal. She is turning one in a couple weeks and I have to face the fact..my little baby girl is starting to wean. I dont know how long this will last...weeks or months...Im hoping for months. Afterawhile breastfeeding becomes second nature to you..like when you brush your teeth. Can you imagine no longer brushing your teeth? I know we have made it to the most important goals (1) but I still cant help but feel devastated. This is our special time. Violet and I fought long and hard to have it with all of the weight issues she had...so for it to be stopped to shortly feels cruel. I think the truth is that its been so much work lately that we are both tired of fighting. So from this day forward Im no longer going to push it on her and let her decide when she wants to nurse. I have plenty of pics to remember this by and I know this will only be one hurdle. My baby is growing up....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X-FG21Dr9gg/UGJ2USqyhrI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Suc210gYrlc/s1600/20120925_190009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X-FG21Dr9gg/UGJ2USqyhrI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Suc210gYrlc/s320/20120925_190009.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-53066113741840774672013-01-01T10:46:00.000-08:002013-01-01T10:46:09.660-08:00Happy New Year!2012 was one of my favorite years as our gorgeous baby Violet was born in it. Im sad its gone but Im looking forward to 2013. A LOT of awesome things are coming our way. First off, if everything goes well I should be starting my IBCLC program in Portland this Spring. It has been really hard being patient and having to wait longer than I thought to go but Im sure in the end it will be all worth it. I have a family and wont be able to go full time but once again I can be patient because this IS my dream job.<br />
<br />
Another thing we are looking forward to is Violet's first Birthday. It is CRAZY to think it has already been a year. It feels like just yesterday we were experiencing that snow storm when we went in to have her. She came in with a bang and has been our little sweetheart ever since. There are definitely more babies in store for us but currently Im just looking forward to enojoying our two girls and focusing on FINISHING my degree! <br />
<br />
We are thinking about putting Sophie in some sort of activity outside the home. We tried ballet awhile ago but she was so rambuncous we took her out. She is mroe calm now so we are rethinking that again..or swimming lessons. We just want her to be able to have something special all her own and get some of that 3 year old energy out at the same time. <br />
<br />
Jared is still in school working on his Bachelors in Sociology. He has about another year left but he is getting closer! I feel like everything is starting to fall into place and if we play our cards right we COULD be looking into getting our own home in a year or two. We will also probably be moving out of Lewis County but nothing is for certain. We have had plans for a LONG time to move up to Olympia as soon as we finished school. I would love to get a job at the hospital and Jared would have SO many more work options up there. but again...in a year or two...Im patient.<br />
<br />
Lastly, this year I really want to focus on my health. Last year after the baby I was so busy being a motehr of two that I ate out..a lot. I dont want to subject my family to that type of lifestyle so I plan to make more meals at home and be more healthy. We recently got a gym membership and it was a great idea. We both get a break from the kids (haha) and get to work out at the same time.<br />
<br />
Happy 2013!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g2ryfmT7jsk/UOMub_hKf8I/AAAAAAAAAb4/ZEK3wuF__x8/s1600/IMG_8709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g2ryfmT7jsk/UOMub_hKf8I/AAAAAAAAAb4/ZEK3wuF__x8/s320/IMG_8709.JPG" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MCPfvkDy4zg/UOMuk0i7RXI/AAAAAAAAAcA/hHdZ2dNTCwA/s1600/IMG_8649.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MCPfvkDy4zg/UOMuk0i7RXI/AAAAAAAAAcA/hHdZ2dNTCwA/s320/IMG_8649.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6sNhoyPlaxA/UOMu6FaxXnI/AAAAAAAAAcI/50kC9S4X9nI/s1600/IMG_8591.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6sNhoyPlaxA/UOMu6FaxXnI/AAAAAAAAAcI/50kC9S4X9nI/s320/IMG_8591.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635904029993970070.post-37069200493823778682012-12-07T18:02:00.001-08:002012-12-07T18:02:43.997-08:00New Giveaway from Paxbaby!<a href="http://paxbaby.com/10000-fan-giveaway-at-paxbaby-facebook-page/">http://paxbaby.com/10000-fan-giveaway-at-paxbaby-facebook-page/</a>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13414185731867645393noreply@blogger.com0