Midwife Appt.

I had my midwife appt. yesterday and it went really well. We saw baby Freya and she is at the moment sideways and SOMETIMES head down so I'm keeping my fingers crossed she stays head down. It would truly suck if I had ANOTHER breech baby. My weight gain is surprisingly going well considering with both the other girls I gained WAY to much weight. We discussed emergency procedures for home birthing and it made  me feel more at ease with my decision (if everything continues to go well). I had no idea that midwifes actually carry certain drugs/instruments Dr.s do in case of an emergency. My midwife has been delivery babies for 30+ years and she feels very confident everything will go well. The only thing she worries about is if I have the baby before she gets there since I dilated very quickly with Sophie (1-10 in 45 minutes). I labored with Sophie in the hospital after my water broke for 10 hours and couldn't relax because I was having such a horrible time (craptastic hospital) that when I finally go the epidural 10 hours later I went from 1-10 centimeters in 45 minutes because my body was so relaxed finally. so she thinks since I will be home and more comfortable it will go quickly. So anyways...I am HALF WAY done! I don't enjoy pregnancy so I'm looking forward to this journey almost being complete in my life and being able to have my body back!

It has been a long time since I have made a blog post...

...I didn't even realize it!

Now is a better time I feel to give an update on our little family. As most of you know we have our THIRD girl getting ready to be welcomed into this world around Christmas. We have decided to name her "Freya Holiday". The middle name is special to us not only for the fact that she is being born around the BIGGEST holiday of the year but for other simple reasons <3 a="" and="" attempt="" been="" beginning="" care="" during="" have="" i="" known="" midwife="" my="" p="" prenatal="" seeing="" since="" the="" to="" vbac="" wanted="">

As most of you know little Violet (18 months now!! ) was born via cesarean due to her breech presentation. Most Dr.s hope that every child there after will be a RCS...which is known as a repeat c-section. They say this because of the .05% chance of your uterus rupturing if you attempt a vaginal birth, but the truth is that the risks for a RCS are MUCH higher than a VBAC. Hope you got all that terminology? ;)

Anyways, I have always wanted to do that but NOW I have decided to go bigger. Ready for some bigger terms? I have decided to attempt a HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarean). I have been looking into it more and more and if my midwife is okay with it, and everything works out I will get to experience my very own homebirth. 

I know everyone has different feelings about this but when it comes down to it, these are feelings about my birth. I have to realize that my feelings are most important. I think it would be incredibly beautiful to experience this. Some of the reasons I would prefer to birth at home are:

1.) The hospital puts my anxiety into overdrive

2.) I have a higher chance of having a RCS if I attempt my VBAC at a hospital

3.) I like the idea of being comfortable in my own home

4.) I want to have a water birth

Now with that being said, I know ALL to well that birth plans can sometimes not go as you planned. So I plan to just go into this with an open mind!!! 

Ill update more as we move along in this process!!

Terrible 3's

because every year is terrible.

Let me start this by saying I absolutely love my little 3 year old Sophie and wouldnt change her for a second. I just feel like writing down some of the humerous things we parents find annoying helps. So here goes:

Sophie has become obsessed with bandaids. Its becoming quite expensive to keep up with all of her many battle wounds she just "swears" that she has. The other day she came out of the car and told her daddy her finger hurt and she needed a bandaid. Daddy told her no because her finger was fine but he would kiss it. From 0-60 we heard the following noise/cry/screech "I NNEEEEDDDDDD a bandaid"!! So being the pushover parents we are we gave her a bandaid. The fake cry immediately stopped and she gets an asshole smile on her face (yes I said asshole) and says "All better". Now Im sure your thinking Im being mean and that she is just 3. She is just 3, but like most parents I also think my child is out to get me.

So our poor little dachshund takes QUITE the beating from Sophie. Hugging to Sophie is basically a death choke from a pro wrestler. Just imaine a 3 year old with the most cracked out look on their face "hugging" a poor puppy. Meanwhile our dog is totally screaming for help o.O So anyways, puppy is sitting on daddys lap and Sophie comes up and shoves the dog off his lap..and hard. She immediately gives her "hug" and we can already see the look on our dogs face and read her mind "why..WHY this family". Have you ever watched Finding Nemo? Do you remember the little girl Darla? Yep....thats Sophie. Jared and I immediately screech "No Sophie be nice to the puppy". 0-60 she screeches/cries/screams.... "I was just LOVING my puppy"!! Yes Sophie....just not to death please.

Im changing Violets diaper and Sophie asks me if she can do her exercises (aka jump from couch to coffee table) and I (smart mom) shoot down her dreams and say no. Her little dolly stroller is about 2 feet from Violets head and suddenly Sophie ets a smile on her mouth and asks if she can exercise with her stroller. As a parent you MUST give your child the benefit of the doubt sometimes so of course I said yes. Suddenly I hear "WEEEEEEEE" as she pushes the stroller as hard as she can into her sisters head o.O Sophie:1 Violet Head: 0

Im being lazy and dont want to make dinner again so I take Sophie with me to go get some dinner from Taco Del Mar. We get out of the car and she throws a fit because I didnt put her coat hood on right and I didnt put her bear into her carseat buckled in. While holding her hand and walking into TDM Sophie makes sure to stomp into every puddle she can find. One drop of water gets on her shirt and she asks for a new one. I tell her no and she screams. I tell her if she is good for just FIVE minutes Ill give her a cookie (sue me). We are waiting in line at TDM and I tell Sophie to hold my hand and she doesnt want. Since she is 3 I dont have to worry too much about her wandering off which Is nice. So I let it go. Im trying to pay and the kid is totally running away from me because I told her she cant have chips AND a cookie for dinner. o.O I give her THAT mom look and she comes back...but of course she has to make it known she is upset. She stands next to me and does that thing kids do where they fold their hands into their armpits with a loud "hmpph". Because I was ignoring it that girl did it seven more times with each time getting louder and louder.

I wonder every day why my hair isnt gray. This girl is giving me a run for my money! At the end of the day I feel so much guilt from all the time-outs and screaming. Yet, something happens. I go up to her room and I see her clutching her blankie from birth and her fingers in her mouth and I realize she wont be a baby for long. Some day I KNOW Ill look back on these days and miss them. So for every "hmpph" and sister beat down Ill remember that inside is a baby girl who will soon blossom and grow into a teenager...and THEN I will commit myself....

1 Year Old

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this but I couldnt wait because I was so excited. Violet turns 1 tomorrow at 3:40pm. Its so crazy how fast this babies first year went. With the normal day to life of a 4 person family this slipped right up onto us. I thought I would talk about the day she was born!

The night before the 23rd I coudlnt sleep. Its different when you KNOW your going to have a baby. With Sophie my water broke so I had no idea. I told Jared over and over in tears that I didnt think I could go through with it and that I had planned to go to Mexico and see if they would let me give birth in a hospital with my breech baby. He reminded me that with my special uterus this was best because there ISNT any studies done on delivering a breech baby with bicornuate uterus and it being safe. I just wanted my baby safe and that was all that mattered. That morning my dad was going to help me take my math final so I wouldnt have to do it with a new baby and because he knew it would help take my mind off things. So all morning we took the test which I ended up getting a C- on anyways haha! After the test myself, my mom, and Jared drove up to Olympia to have you. I remember it feeling like I was going to a Dr.s appt...reall odd. They brought me back and set me up for prep. Due to the storm they informed me that my Dr. had forgotten she had me scheduled and the only Dr. I had available was a Dr. I disliked. I was really upset. I remember going into a fog and blocking the world out around me. Jared, myself, and a nurse walked down the hall to the OR room. As we reached the doors I let go of Jareds hand and felt really sad for a second. I expected a really cold room..but it was amazing. The walls were painted PURPLE! It was like they new you were coming and painted them just for you! I was very scared but the Anethesiologist giving me the spinal was like another support partner and he made me feel very safe. Jared came back in and held my hand and we waited for you. 20 minutes later we heard the sweetest tinyest little lamb cry and you were born. 7.8lbs 19 1/2 inches at 3:40pm (1 minute before mama was born)

VIDEO BELOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK7eJ0tODlw

The Mommy Wars

Social media has started something horrible that has spun out of control. Unless your a mother or parent you probably would have no idea about this. Facebook started the ability to see into peoples lives and it has only gotten worse because now people WANT to share anything and everything to do with their lives. Now I see the following topics all over the internet and it makes me ill. Here they are and Im sure millions more could be added to the list:

1.) You should breastfeed / You should not breastfeed
2.) Breastfeeding in public is gross/ Breastfeeding in public is our right
3.) Circumcision is bad / Circumcision is okay
4.) Dont let your baby CIO / Babies can CIO just fine
5.) I proudly spank / Spanking is horrible
6.) I pierce my babies ears because its cute / I dont pierce my babies ears because its horrible
7.) I co sleep / Co sleeping is bad
8.) I baby wear / I don't hold my baby because I don't want to spoil them
9.) I front face in a car seat early / I rear face as long as possible
10.) Dont feed solids to a baby before 6 months / We give solids at 4 months
11.) Medications for children / Holistic approach for children
12.) Vaccinations are bad / Vaccinations are good
13.) Young mothers/ older mothers
14.) C-sections are great / natural birth all the way.
15.) McD's all the way! / no meat/dairy/soy/gluten for MY child

..the list can go ON!

I have no desire to share my view on these subjects because I've grown tired of it. I will admit I fell for it and would go around preaching what I thought was right on some of these subjects for awhile. Then I realized the world has gotten this far on differing opinions. I mean.. I'm SURE we can find studies done on things and view them as proof but use that proof for your own child..dont push it onto another mother. Every time I see someone passively aggressively posting something in regards to their opinion as if its better than anyone else I do the whole "point your finger in your mouth as if your gagging" impression. For the longest time I really thought that when someone shared their opinion and another mom disagreed it was because she wasn't comfortable with her own decisions as a parent. I feel as a mother who is incredibly happy with her choices (which are completely half and half on the above topics) I still get bothered by someone posting or downgrading a parents choice. Its okay to be proud of a choice you made but make sure you are doing it without putting down another fellow mama.

I could go on and on about how much this annoys me BUT Ill just end it with this. Next time you feel the need to judge someone's parental decision remember you have your own child to raise. You can NEVER be a perfect parent as long as you try. As soon as your child becomes a teenager I can almost bet you they will find something to complain about. So why bother? What are you trying to prove? Get off social media sites and just be a mom..or get on social media sites and support other moms to be courageous in their parenting choices no matter what they are.

Way overdue

No but really. I am becoming a bit excited about the fact that very soon and possibly on the weekend of my birthday, Jared and I will be having our very own first vacation away from the kids. Im saying...not even since Sophie...have Jared and I ever been away from the kids for an overnight vacation. Ive been obsessing over plans and I laugh at myself because I will always find a hotel and start looking into wether or not they have cribs!? Im so not used to this. I find it pretty sad that in almost 5 years we havent done this. We never even had a honeymoon after our wedding!

You just cant be prepared...

...enough for the start of weaning.
I had visions when I first started breastfeeding Violet. I was going to let her self wean. This meant she could decide when we would be done. I didnt see this happening until at least 18 months was my goal. She is turning one in a couple weeks and I have to face the fact..my little baby girl is starting to wean. I dont know how long this will last...weeks or months...Im hoping for months. Afterawhile breastfeeding becomes second nature to you..like when you brush your teeth. Can you imagine no longer brushing your teeth? I know we have made it to the most important goals (1) but I still cant help but feel devastated. This is our special time. Violet and I fought long and hard to have it with all of the weight issues she had...so for it to be stopped to shortly feels cruel. I think the truth is that its been so much work lately that we are both tired of fighting. So from this day forward Im no longer going to push it on her and let her decide when she wants to nurse. I have plenty of pics to remember this by and I know this will only be one hurdle. My baby is growing up....