November 1, 2016

Humble Pie

I feel like, being a stay at home parent has made me more humble. When you stay at home, people like to pretend they don't judge you, but they do. You are usually judged in one of two ways. First, you are either judged by those who assume you want to fill your womanly duties, or second you are judged by those who assume there is nothing better for you than to stay home and raise a bunch of children. Have you ever asked yourself, why you feel that way about those who choose to stay home? Was it your personal upbringing? Is it because you yourself, don't actually have any clue what goes into the work of being the stay at home parent? 

First of all, my husband and I had many discussions on who would stay home. It always boiled down to it that I knew he was extremely extroverted and being home would be hard on him mentally. I am an introvert, and slightly obsessed with hoarding myself into my own sanctuary, so have no problems being shut off from the outside world. You know that's what we sign up to do right? 

When choosing to be the stay at home parent, we sign our rights away from having a normal amount of adult communication. At first it is fun, not getting dressed, watching T.V. during the day, getting those things you have had on your list waiting for you finally be accomplished! Than the kids get older and you have to take them everywhere for things that only they will truly enjoy, while you get to wait and watch. You devote your life to feeding schedules, pooping schedules, sleeping schedules, extracurricular schedules, listening to them fight with their siblings schedules, and you soon find you have to get dressed and when you get 3 minutes to breathe, you spend that very valuable time...sleeping. 

That's not even bad! If you truly enjoy being a stay at home parent, you will find through the struggle of accepting your position as a glorified nanny, you really love raising and watching your children grow up. What is bad, is when the adults around you take you for granted and assume your self-worth is less than. When did wanting to watch our children grow up become looked down upon?Can you ask yourself that? I have had MANY a times in a room full of adults, where I know they wont ask me how my day is, or what work is like, or what I am up to, because they assume I am nothing other than a mom. When you go to work, do you come home and assume you are still the position you have at your job? Are you a lawyer at home? Are you a doctor at home? No? I didn't think so. So start understanding, that though we will always be parents, we are also people. Humans. Individuals that enjoy life just like the rest of us. If you are in the room with a bunch of adults, ask the stay at home parent what they have been up to lately. They may scoff and say, "Haha you know just watching kids", but still try to engage with them. Chances are, they are just so used to people ignoring them, that they genuinely don't know what to say. 

Thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook and other social media platforms, we have the wonderful opportunity to spread our opinions. We choose sides based on fictitious memes and assume rights based on likes. What happened to genuine conversation, and caring for those around us? Being humble, and wanting those we love to succeed instead of fall? Put your ego aside, and tell someone who may not know it that you love them. and goddammit put your phone down! 

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