September 29, 2010

Happy As A Clam



Now I know I only work two days a week and I am glad I contribute to the family but I hate leaving Sophie. I get a weird sense of saddness when I go to work. I have always seen myself as a SAHM, and as I get closer and closer to finishing school it is a bittersweet feeling. One of accomplishment, and one of a lose. I will have to become a full-time 40hrs a week mom. Not that I have anything against that life style its just I like mine more. I like seeing EVERY little thing. I dont like the though of daycare either. I didn't have my children just to let someone else raise them. Sophie is currently being watched by my mother for those two hours that overlap Jared and I's scehdule. All I am saying is... I want to better myself but the next time I have a baby I dont want only 3 months before I have to shove them into daycare... what to do??

September 27, 2010

Everything tastes good with gravy



I am having one of those extremely hypochondriac months. I have to get my annual blood work done today since the last time I had it done was 2 years ago. Also I have cavties. Then on the 14th I have to have my annual womens appointment. I hate waiting until the last minute because now I have to do everything at once. I honestly can not wait until all of this is done and I DONT have anything wrong with me.

On a different note...

I am loving this rainy weather and it has strangly inspired me to join a mother daughter class. Something we can do together. It will give us something to do as I feel all we do is sit lazely around the house.

September 20, 2010

Life As We Know It


I am considering a couple changes in my life right now that will most likely benefit me. We have just moved into the new hosue and it is wonderful as always. What is not so wonderful are our finances. We used to have this big hole of debt and in the last couple of years this hoel has slowly closed up. Now thi hole is starting to re-open and I can feel my insides getting weak. It all started after I lost my AMAZING job from providence as a hospice aid. I knew it was onyl temporary but for those last couple weeks I held out my hopes in getting on full-time. Now here I am back at work in a nursing home and HATE IT! How did I get backwards?

So here are the things I am going to change.

My mood:

I can not change what is happening to us right now. I need to accept the fact that things will be tough for the next couple months but eventually we will get a break. I will hopefully be done with school by next summer and hopefully get a WAY better job.

My choices:

I need to stop basing my decisions on how others will percieve me. This is a lose:lose situation. I want to start living my life the way our family intended it. HAPPY.

My Finances:

F*** them.

...

no but really. I can not change the position we are in so I am going to stop redoing my budget every hour to see if there is some hidden loop to achieve more money. It is what it is!

On a happy note...

I love my house

September 9, 2010

pottytraining day 1

Day one of potty training started out succesful and is currently becoming stressful. Sophie peer in the potty within thirty minutes of trying and I started cheering and she started laughing. We walked to the toilet and dumped it out together than I gave her some chocolate. Ever since then she's piddled a couple times on the floor and now she is currently napping so we will see.